Hi everyone, welcome back! Last week, I examined a very common belief which creates our thinking when we are at the lowest point in our lives and that is to compare ourselves and our life with someone else out there who is even less fortunate than us. This week, I would like to examine beliefs around a human being’s uniqueness and what happens to this uniqueness as we go through our lives!
Belief: Yes, we are all unique human beings but we still must compare ourselves with others and compete with them to get ahead in life!!
Haven’t we all heard this so many times before – celebrate your uniqueness; that we are all unique human beings and we should not only focus on our uniqueness but also celebrate it! And even though, at least some of us may understand this statement on an intellectual level; however, as a society, we don’t quite live our lives according to the truths behind this statement. But to better understand, what it is that we could be doing or not doing to celebrate ourselves and our lives, let’s first examine what does celebrating one’s uniqueness and life means. To me, celebrating your uniqueness and life means loving the person you are; the personality you have; the physical features you have; the color of your skin; the family you are born into; the parents you have; the siblings you have; the money you have; the cars you have; the houses you have; the kids you have; the spouses you have; the religion you follow; the nationality you have; the education you have; the accomplishments you have; the titles you have etc. etc. On top of loving these things about yourself, you own them and never apologize for being them and embody them!!
So, now that we understand a bit more about what ‘celebrating our uniqueness and life’ means; I would invite you to try to answer this very simple question with absolute honesty – are you someone who celebrates your uniqueness and life? Are you that person who celebrates yourself? Are you that person that celebrates your life? if you answered yes, you probably don’t need to continue to read this article. But for the rest of us, have you ever wondered why is it that you don’t? Why is that you don’t feel enough? Why is that that you always feel there is something missing from your life? Why is it that even when you achieve that ‘something missing’, you still feel like your life is lacking something? Here is what I have come to understand.
What I have come to understand why we don’t celebrate ourselves and our life and the gifts we are born with is because from the very beginning of our lives, we are compared! We are compared because as part of this society’s belief system, there is a very deep rooted belief about what a ‘successful human being’ looks like and thus growing up, our parents rely on that belief or ‘idea’ to create a perfect child who will transform into a ‘successful adult’ over time. And so, as kids, when we are learning how to walk and talk and ABCs and 123s, reading and writing, we are compared with other kids and sometimes our own siblings who may be closer to this ‘idea’ of a perfect child than us. Then we get enrolled into school education, where we get trapped into grading systems and test results, compliant behavior versus non-compliant behavior and the teachers compare us with other kids in their class or maybe even previous classes; again, comparing us based on the ‘idea’ that they have in their minds of what a perfect student looks like! Then we land into jobs with dreams of making it big ‘our own way’, only to find out that ‘our own way’ is hardly even understood by our colleagues and bosses who again compare us based on their ‘idea’ of a perfect employee! Then we get into relationships hoping they will give us the much-needed space to spread our wings and allow us to express who we truly are only to find ourselves adjusting and hiding our true selves to keep the relationship alive because we are being compared again based on our partner’s ‘idea’ of a perfect spouse!!
This getting compared all our lives by others as well as ourselves never allows us an opportunity to even figure out ourselves. It never allows us to focus our attention on our strengths and desires; our talents and gifts! Instead, what this comparing does is divert our attention to other people’s strengths and desires; their gifts and talents. And because the ultimate purpose of all this comparison is to get ahead of that ‘someone else’; so many times, we fail miserably! And we fail because we didn’t allow ourselves to use our talents that we came on this Earth with and instead tried to create talents that others have. We didn’t allow ourselves to shine the gifts that we were born with and instead tried to create gifts that others have! We didn’t allow ourselves the liberty of serving the purpose this Universe placed into our hearts and instead just kept chasing someone else’s reasons for being here! We didn’t allow ourselves to be – just ourselves and instead kept trying very hard to become someone else!
Folks, I have said this before but it bears repeating that we all come to Earth for a reason and that reason is placed into our hearts in the form of desire by this Universe. On top of that, each one of us is given a talent or gift which we need to use to execute or carry out that desire. But because of our very limited beliefs and thus mindset, we just keep chasing success the way its defined by our beliefs. And all the while, we miss out on not only figuring out our gifts and talents but also using them. And I know that even though this world is not full of those who have dared to be themselves and carried out their desires; but if you pay close attention, you can still find some who have transformed lives and built companies just by knowing their worth and their reason for being here…And if they can, so can we, they are not different from us – we are all the same yet unique human beings worthy of knowing and living and loving and carrying out all our beautiful desires :-)…all you need is courage and a broader perspective on life – that’s all!!
And as always, feel free to leave a comment if you feel like leaving one. And until next time, celebrate yourself and your life 🙂
