Hi everyone, welcome back! Last week I examined why is it that a lot of people, although they may have enough of what the entire human race is after; yet, they still feel very sad and lonely inside. This Friday, I would like to examine a very popular belief “there are only very few ways that you can live your life or few things that you can buy or few professions you can choose etc. to get admitted to the successful club” which I believe creates a mindset of lack and competition!
Belief: These are the things I need to have or do or become in order to get entry into the ‘successful club’ 🙂
Have you ever noticed how the promotion system in corporations reflects the mindset of lack? Or the Ivy League universities that choose only a handful of students from a pot of many very bright students? Or the really good restaurants that make you wait in line for months so that you can grab a bite? Although these are just a handful of examples of how making something out of reach of people can make that something very desirable and sought after and exclusive; however, if you look closely, these are just a few classic examples of how businesses have successfully exploited a very common belief that humans have about lack. According to this mindset or belief of lack, since only very limited things can be classified as awesome or amazing or fall in the category of success, marketing agencies and businesses around the world have used this belief to trick humans into believing that there is always something lacking in their lives and in order to solve this ‘problem’ of something lacking from their lives, these companies point us to the exclusive products or services they offer that can help fill this gap! And this gap could be about anything ranging from not having enough money because you don’t have a great job; or not having a good enough job because you don’t have a great degree; or not having a great physique because you don’t yet spend dollars on eating right or exercising right; or not having the skin color and texture because you don’t yet buy those freaking expensive creams; or not having enough cool factor because you don’t yet possess those cool hi-tech gadgets; or not having enough oomph factor because the clothes you wear today are not branded enough to make an impression on this society…and the list goes on and on and on.
As a result of the very limited criteria that has been created over centuries on how and who is considered beautiful or successful or rich or happy or content or lucky or crazy for that matter; we judge the entire human race of 7 plus billion people by a handful of standards which mostly have been created by the people working for these corporations or their marketing agencies! It seems to me like these are the people who are creating all these rules about who and what is beautiful or successful to improve their companies’ bottom lines and the rest of the humans just blindly follow their message and set out on becoming beautiful or rich or successful based on these companies definitions. And in trying to become what we have been told we should become; we forget to pay attention to all the beauty that we already have inside and outside of us. We forget to pay attention to all the success that we have already achieved. We forget to recognize how much we already have in our lives that we could be thankful for right now, this very moment! We forget to pay attention to what our own heart desires!! We forget to use our own damn head to decide and choose for ourselves!! And the funny thing about being human is that even if you have or gain a little wisdom to recognize and be grateful for all that you already have and follow your own path, however, the moment you come across that someone who has more than you, your so called wisdom evaporates 🙂 and you are back in that cycle of thinking about all the things that you lack in yourself or your life!!
So, let’s understand this belief through a classic example which will hopefully shed some light on how twisted our beliefs really are. So growing up in India, I used to hear all the time about these ‘fairness creams’ available in the market to make someone’s dark skin a little light. And since light skin is what the Indian society has been after for centuries, the companies selling these creams have created a multi-billion dollar industry by exploiting this insecurity and literally telling women what their skin color ought to be :-). But when I came to US, to my amazement, I personally came across people who wanted to have the skin color which was being tagged as lacking in the other part of the world!! And in this country, people risk their health and get into those tanning beds to get that perfect tan so that they can show it off and be called beautiful!! And just like the ‘fairness cream’ industry, the tanning industry here in the US is a multi-billion dollar industry which is again telling women what and who is considered beautiful.
Isn’t that ironical, folks? Even though I completely understand a human beings’ need and desire to look their best and have the best and do their best but what I don’t understand is that why is it that we can’t decide for ourselves if white, brown, black or whichever other color is beautiful for us. Why is it that we need other people or companies or marketing agencies to dictate for us how we should live our lives and what we should buy or not buy to be considered beautiful and successful! Why is it that we always need some kind of approval or validation from others to make us feel good about ourselves and our lives although we are completely capable of feeling that on our own? I have a theory about this need for validation and approval :-). It will be my topic for next time and until then, love yourself and your life now!
